


Healing

by DegrassiFanatic



Series: Character Study [9]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Healing, Hospitals, References to Depression, References to Suicide, Suicidal Themes, ish, it's 13 reasons why what do you expect, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 00:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DegrassiFanatic/pseuds/DegrassiFanatic
Summary: A character study on my saddest son, Alex Standall.----------------------------------Sometimes he wishes that he never woke up, that everyone was too late. Maybe two suicides would’ve got everyone’s head on straight. Maybe two dead kids would make everyone self aware. One death made him more self aware.He wishes he was more smart and timed everything correctly, that he could be more like Hannah and be efficient.And, maybe even dead.





	Healing

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is 13 Reasons why, there are some obvious triggers. Not anything to graphic or detailed, just references to suicide and some thoughts centered on depression in the beginning.  
> Enjoy the sad[ish]

It’s been a week since he attempted. It’s been four days since he woke up.

 

Sometimes he wishes that he never woke up, that everyone was too late. Maybe two suicides would’ve got everyone’s head on straight. Maybe two dead kids would make everyone self aware. One death made him more self aware.

 

He wishes he was more smart and timed everything correctly, that he could be more like Hannah and be efficient.

 

And, ~~maybe~~ even dead.

 

He wishes that Hannah had this chance, that she got to a hospital in time. That she was still here and not just a memory that’s being echoed in everyone’s mind.

 

He wishes a lot in the hospital room. But, wishing doesn’t get someone anywhere. It certainly does nothing for him.

 

After all, wishing didn't make Hannah come back. Wishing didn't make his family realize what was happening. Wishing didn't give back his life that was taken away from his downward spiral that came with those tapes.

 

He hasn’t has any visitors. Unless you count the pity visits from his family. There’s no surprise that no one from school has come. Truthfully, he doesn’t think he has any friends anymore.

 

Even in the last couple of days, his father stopped dropping in. Not like he can truly blame him.(doesn’t mean a part of him isn’t upset)

 

He kinda feels happy that no one visited him because he doesn’t need a reflection to show how much a mess he is. All those bandages and blood and dark circles and everything.

 

 ~~Maybe he would have more visitors,~~ if he was actually dead.

 

If it wasn’t for his father, the days would’ve blended together by now. His days in this hospital room have been the same and monotonous.

 

According to his father, it’s the seventh day in the hospital, when something actually happens.

 

His father has just left the room when someone else enters. He doesn’t think much of it, probably some nurse about to ask if he’s okay.(wouldn’t be the first one)

 

“Yes, Jessie, I’m fine.” he replies before they can even ask. He doesn’t want any pity words thrown at him, at least not now.

 

“I’m not Jessie.” the voice says. And, he can recognize that voice anywhere. It’s Clay Jensen.

 

Alex is quite surprised when he hears that voice. Because this is _Clay Jensen_ , the dude that he only talked to because of Hannah. The dude he only knew because of the tapes.

 

Clay doesn’t have to be here. He doesn’t _need_ to be here.

 

He doesn’t want to turn his head because, he knows he looks like a mess and that he looks weak.

But, he does, and when he looks up at Clay, he sees him holding flowers.

 

It’s the first time he’s ever gotten flowers, ever. So, obviously, that makes them special. But, the sarcastic asshole inside him, is more alive than the version of himself that’s on this hospital bed.

 

“What are these for? Glad, you didn’t succeed in killing yourself, you failure.” he replies as he takes them and sets them on the foot of his bed.

 

“Alex Standall, truly only you can insult me while hooked up to an IV. ” Clay counters.

 

And, _wow_ this is the first normal conversation he’s had in awhile. A part of him longs for this normalcy to go on forever but, he knows he doesn’t need normalcy, he needs help.

 

Clay’s bringing up a chair, setting it near him. He sits near Alex, just looking serious, with a sober expression.

 

“Alex, you know you can talk to me right?”

 

Those were the only words that he ever needed to hear. He only ever needed someone to talk to. He didn’t someone to ask him if he’s okay, all he needed was a friend. A friend that would help him in this mess that had become his life. A friend wouldn’t instantly make everything better but, it would make everything easier to accept.

 

Someone that would listen.

 

So, he hugs Clay. And, Clay hugs back.

 

When he lets go, he sees Clay smiling softly at him.

  
That’s when some sort of acceptance settles into his bones, that this was supposed to happen. That he was supposed to go through this hell, before the healing truly begun.

 

Alex knows in his heart, that it has.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and leave comments and kudos.<  
> 


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